Don't really want to talk about it. You were right. She had a whole jar of toenail clippings on her nightstand that she chews on "when her fingernails are too short." Direct quote.
pretty sure that I broke my nose during sexting. Life is grand.
She wouldn't go home with me cause I forgot her name. I didn't realize it would matter after she danced with her vagina on my face
I would get the one fuckin stripper that's a lesbian. THE ONLY ONE
You are missing out on the best boobs in town right now
He went into the alley to piss and came back a minute later with a case of Bud Select. I'm speechless.
I went to bed at ten on a Friday night I have virtues to spare
can i bring anything?
Any of the following: Sex doll, side dish, fruits/vegetables that look like dildos, beer
is there a theme i should know about?
I woke up naked to an alarm set for 11:18 pm and missing a shoe. How was your night?
His gf just liked my changed relationship status. She's gonna shit bricks when she finds out he left her for me. Bless her little heart.
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Wait, there's no way I said I would suck his dick. I know drunk Katie.
No, you told him to suck YOUR dick.
See now that sounds like drunk Katie.
Even my conscience is telling me to take this Wednesday's exam buzzed.
Her vag MUST be made out of starbursts or something equally as delicious.
Look get the dick out ur mouth and answer the phone
Randomize
