You drinking a lot?
No.
Define a lot
he kind of looks like leonardo dicaprio...in whats eating gilbert grape
wtf, did you fuck a retard?!
I had sex with him, and then he gave me a $5 Starbucks gift card. Totally worth it
woke up with a used condom shoved in my ear. i officially hate alcohol.
he obviously didn't care that i was sleeping and dreaming about ellen degeneres knitting me a christmas sweater.
The prostitute across the street from us is having a seizure on her front lawn again.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
Cute underage boy is in my house.
OH MY GOD. DON'T DO ANYTHING. WHY IS HE IN YOUR HOUSE.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
Who spent today in nothing but a vajazzle and candy thong? SORRY NOT SORRY
Side note. I love it when I think I've sobered up and then I get a second wind of drunk
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
I'm at the level of despair that only Panda Express can fix
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
I'm not big on drama but you need to put your pants on and leave.
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