This cookie i'm eating tastes like pizza. It was so worth contacting my sister for pot.
Dude, no matter how drunk you are, it's not okay to hug every other guy at a strip club. Mainly because boners are far too common.
"Worlds Wildest Videos" should be called "Crazy White People"
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
She kept chasing him yelling thief, because he drank some of her drink. That was at 8, it got worse.
I have a question: does pizza dipped in chili sound good or am I just really high?
But seriously he was like a god with his hands. My vagina feels annointed.
No need to talk. Eventually, he'll either stop coming over, or decide that it's a relationship.
And if not?
...I keep getting free bourbon and great sex with no expectations. You really don't understand that there is no "down side," do you?
I asked if anyone's pants felt wet on the bottom, like a half hour after mine did. I had just peed my pants i had gotten so high no biggie
I called you daddy and let you stick things in my butt, I am a damn 11.
Can I just say how funny it is that your "respect" tattoo is right above the bruise from me slapping your ass
Dude, who WASN'T thinking of motorboating her?
I woke up beside him and almost cried. Then I realized you were on the other side so I knew I hadn't made any bad decisions.
Yeah but now he has a wife. It’s going to be different this year
So what. We’ve banged every Thanksgiving since high school. She just has to understand it’s a holiday tradition
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