margs and chips and queso make the world go round
well and inertia
I'm outside your house...sorry I feel like I don't need formal invites anymore.
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
I'm not sure if it was sex or spear fishing. He goes in for it like he's crash landing a rocket
it's almost 8pm and i'm still hungover. at what point do i alert someone?
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
Would giving a bouquet of flowers to my mother be a good way to say, "sorry you walked in on my boyfriend eating me out"?
You slapped my ass and yelled "HOOTY TOOTY WHAT A BOOTY" in a Schwarzenegger voice
I have the overwhelming need to take care of him. Both with my vagina and like emotionally.
Am I getting cock blocked by karaoke? That's a first.
I hope Trump leaves Planned Parenthood alone for at least another month. The week got away from me. #whorelando
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
PLEASE LET MY BIRD FUCK YOUR BIRD
We're in an alley with a psychic wizard, shes reading our palms
Don't come in. My door to my bathroom won't close because of the table and I'm pooping
Classy
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