hey you didnt make it to our afterparty what happened?
Ran around with a boom box broke a trampoline float, had a girl lick my ear the usual
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
My room should be renamed "Land of the Misfit Condoms."
I dont know why people are racist. Both the mexicans and the irish gave us holidays where everyone drinks on a wednesday.
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
Woke up to a break up text for a facebook relationship I didn't even know I was in... 2012 is going to be a good year
We shot off some fireworks at 12 and then I orchestrated the group singing of god bless the USA all while wearing a don't tread on me flag as a cape. I repped hard.
it would be a downgrade if your vagina tasted like skittles
Is it weird that the girl he dated after me had a child with him and it has my name? I think it means he's not over me. Or I'm really self absorbed...
Just had a guy try to pull the maraca out of my shirt with his teeth... Wtf
And for today's main disappontment. I thought I saw a midget with fireworks get on the buss, alas it's a child with cleaning supplies
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
Still can’t get over the fact that we ate beef jerky off a strip club floor
so he found out i have him as "average size" in my phone. fair to say we arnt going to be dating anymore
My lack of taco bell is hindering me from seeing the good part of that situation
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