nut hugger
i woke up under my mattress pad with him laying naked next to me and his wwjd bracelet on my nightstand.
nice, that's exactly what jesus would do.
in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
fuck. I just remembered I agreed to let you finger me last night for solely for "scientific purposes"
Bitches at mcdonalds acting like they never seen a girl puke in her own coat pocket before
It's like you are the superhero of getting jizzed on
We have to use a contraceptive. God help the world if another one of us comes into fruition.
Hypothetical question: how bad would bacardi be as an IV drip?
death...100% death...what r u planning.
also dude totally apologize for the whole drunken "want something in my mouth" text
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
Yeah that's a good idea.. I like to be responsible when I trip my nuts off
I'm just going to take the mature adult root and ignore him for a bit, and then pretend like I didn't see him jerking off.
I threw up in my backpack last night, but at least it wasn't in the pizza box again
you drug him to get him horny then deny him sex. freaks.
I think I may have gotten way too used to using my boobs as an extra hand/pocket...almost stabbed myself in the chin bc I forgot I put my fork there
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