his dad told me thanks for making his little boy a man at breakfast this morning
Cuz last time you told me I was going to be shocked about something you got a hand job from a stripper in canada
Which is worse rug burn on your nipples or laying there after wondering how long you have to cuddle before you can sneak away?
Will you just get over yourself and come over here and give me that dick...then you can go back home and continue to cry over us breaking up. Thank you
Her eyebrows were plucked so thin that she had to have gonorrhea. Clean girls just don't pluck that way
I mean I don't object to weird looking penis as long as it gets the job done. I just need to get it in. I'm gonna be humping chairs soon.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
Also. This Ativan makes me feel fearless. I think we need an exciting new hobby for when we take it. How do you feel about ghost hunting?
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
On NPR this morning, farmers are feeding weed to pigs. The result: pot bacon. Life just got better.
She wants to go furniture shopping for memorial day so we've gotta go portable
thermos full of jaeger bombs?
Affirmative
What part of a retired stonemason dealing with your rock hard cock does not sound like you have the wrong number ?
I fucked some frat guy. Then I found my brother after and made him take his shirt off and then I made him tell me he loves me
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Your vagina needs to teach my vagina its ways.
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