So we've decided on 'hamburger' as your code for tonight. If you add ketchup or fries, we know the threat level has escalated.
brass monkey on radio. cant stop dancing.
She passed out in my bed last night before anything happened. She felt really bad about that, so she gave me head when we woke up this morning.
"Not only do I bring a guy back to my hotel room....But I bring one back for my friend who's passed out drunk. Now that's what we call BESTfriends"
I feel like I've been slapped by Gods icy cold dick of vengeance.
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
i was taking a dump when this random girl ran in, puked all over my lap, then passed out on the floor
did you bang her?
seriously?
July 5th AKA Day of regret AKA picnicing in a laundromat. Someone puked allover the comforter. Liffe of champions.
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
good it was pretty cute, also what would bong water do to a puppy?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I lost my vibrator temporarily and for some unknown reason my first thought was that you might have stolen it. But then I realized you would never do that because you know it keeps me from killing people. But I am overtired and lacking in faith.
I had to give myself a suppository. That was the LEAST fun I've had inserting things in my ass.
She handed me scissors and told me that they were the ones with the lowest probability of having been used to trim someone's pubes.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize