the new term for farting is butt boxing.
AIM automatically accepts video chats on my laptop. I found this out when I got a text from Jacob after my first attempt at drunk lesbian sex saying, "I'd give it a 7. You need to work on your positioning." I think I'm single now.
Does this mean you'll turn into an Albanian at the next full moon?
when im not freaking out about dying alone and unloved, i actually really enjoy being single
Are you with Adam and his vodka?
Yeswdsssss I masde his pickle gi away ans he go anbnoued
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
I just scratched behind my ear and found icing. Fuck you.
We opted you as the sacrificial dick tonight. We need our patron cafe. Go make some moves.
i think when the guy sitting in the corner singing tells you you're too drunk, you're too drunk.
Out of all the people in the house to show their tits at mcdonalds to try and get free food, they picked those two?
WTF YOU SHOULDNT BREAK A SWEAT TAKING A SHIT. MY BODY HATES ME.
words I never want to hear dad say again: "Trevor you sexy man you"
I'm so annoyed. We're about to buy groceries for the week and at this point I'm hoping to sustain myself on pure alcohol.
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
Randomize
