how was that guy you hooked up with?
i used to think blowing a .05 was a good thing
i want to give my vagina back to god and say no thank you
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
Apparently the guard had to repeat "you're too drunk to get in" three times before I understood. I guess he was right.
I didn't know people actually cried after sex.
I like how washing the beer bong is now a regular part of washing the dishes.
triple team girl just facebook chatted me. do i tell her i had a nice time?
im swimming of confusion and bacardi. where do i go from herrrrrre
Heaven was on the 3rd floor and Hell was on the first. When the cop walked up he was confused as to who the noise complaint was for and wrote both apartments a noise violation.
Bro, there is a rent-a-cop selling syringes out of the trunk of his car. This is why I hate the DMV.
Do you think you could handle being our babysitter if we roofied ourselves for fun??
k. The important thing is we are going out. You are stones. I am mildly hallucenating.
I take to many stalker pics of him. If he ever looks through my phone he'll never give me sex again :(
Everyone called me "Barf Vader".. And I lost your lightsaber.
I've been here 11 months and i just realized i have literally never looked at my apartment/roomates sober
Randomize
