at some point to night u and I have a 'meeting' too...(1-737): I hope so
I think a homeless person took a bath in my mouth while I was sleeping :(
I didn't know that people actually queef. Is this a real thing?
I believe so, yes.
Would you be offended if I asked if it has happened to you?
Change your flight to Denver. That's where my penis is.
the only reason i even kissed her was because we were having sex when it midnight, and i heard people yelling "happy new year."
I'm on the bus going to class. And a cop just rolled by and I got nervous because I didn't have my seatbelt on. I have to stop smoking so much weed.
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Just mixed my liver cleanse with Bacardi. Best. Thing. Ever.
you figure out which one you wanna sleep with, & I'll sleep with the other one. problem solved
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
I just want you to know that I am dancing around my apartment by myself singing Taylor Swift into a wine bottle. Do hurry.
Sincerely. Thanks. You could have thought of anyone sitting on your face but you chose me. :)
His favorite stripper is going to jail. He's taking it pretty hard
His name was toto. That should have been my red flag
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