I just realized that this morning is the first morning i've put on underwear in a week.
I love summer.
i wish there was a holiday celebrated with pizza eating
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
I havent jerked off in so long, my dick literally prevented me from rolling over in my sleep this morning. new definition of painful?
I just found puke in my bra..
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
So someone just pointed out to me that during dinner, I mentioned more women that I'm attracted to than men. The transition might be complete. I'm gay.
see that vagina ? that vagina means business
I got hella high today and freaked out about life and interest rates
My face feels like a midget just gave birth to quintuplets
I never want to even look at fireball again because it reminds me of the night I died and then lived to tell the tale of how I died.
Right before he dumped me... he got a really ugly pair of pants. They were twill pants. A pinkish color. When I'm sad... I picture him in them. It makes me smile.
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
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