Hilbilly word of the day is cedar, example....I knowed she ain\'t got no panties on cuz I cedar cooter.
im trying to make cookies in the george foreman
in case you havent found it already in honor of Toy story 3 we wrote ANDY on the bottom of your foot while you were passed out on the couch.
I should take him calling me "a freak of nature" after sex as a compliment, right??
At what point in my life was I not hugged enough to be on my fourth walk of shame in half as many weeks?
He got about halfway through singing "Drift Away" before he passed out and broke my coffee table.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
may have given a homeless man 70 dollars in exchange for his sandals. so yea, i'm going as jesus for next halloween.
I'm this close to masturbating to his profile pics from 2006
I should also mention that having been a sheltered child, I am conditioned to have serious kinks and find upper bodies of either sex attractive. And legs.
The blackout version of me left a ransom note to the sober self. Somebody needs to control that guy
He's practically not my boyfriend anymore. So let's go get some glitter, balloons, alcohol and forget this night ever happened.
Nobody wants to date "Eats Taco Bell Secretly In Her Car" Girl
I FOUND THE LEGS
Then, even the devil himself would be scared of us. And we'd be bestfriends with Jesus. He would love us.
Randomize
