So. Did i wake up at 430, try to drive home, stop to throw up at a shell, and try to clean out my car and drop my keys in a full dumpster? Yes.
I hate it when you make eye contact with someone bcs you are about to make fun of them and they take it as a hint to come hit on you.
I used the word aforementioned in my paper. That's an automatic A in community college.
He's got a pretty small dick but he's a total sweetheart. I'm gonna buy a new dildo and just deal with it.
Our suitemates are shrooming again. I left a less colorful dress hanging on the door, change before you come in because purple is making Maeve cry.
Today's work quote "if I looked like you, I'd be sitting on everyones face"
Worst part of blacking out... Waking up and having to do the teeth check
im trying to look as sober as possible but i just poured orange juice and mayo into my milkshake.
I'm sorry I peed on the bushes at your law firm. Is there anyway you could defend me for the ticket I'm about to get?
Mom got high last night and started crying because she feels bad for Paula Deen. This is my family.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
He told me he needed "space" but then goes and likes my insta of panacakes.. Done.
Apparently she "missed me" and the only logical solution was to fuck my brother.
Our drunk hook up was interrupted by the delivery guy. When he came back to my room we ate the gyros and went back to sex like we didn't take a lunch break.
Thrres cinnamon everywgte. Plead cine get me
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