My family just had an in depth argument about the meaning of chodes
Good luck man
I dont need it. Shes easy.
Hopefully the semester will be over before she has a breakout. Then I can just avoid the situation entirely
just shottied a beer can with a pumpkin carver. i love October.
your dad made us margaritas and breakfast on the morning. I think it's safe to say he relives his glory days through us
I have a feeling that watching gay porn with you was the reason I was dancing in a hurricane of floating dicks in my dream last night.
A small child is toddling around the store, holding a coloring book and a shot glass. Thinking of you.
Smoked a joint and chugged some pepto. Feeling a lil better... Not sure which is working..... Gonna keep doing both.....
Horrible. I told her my girlfriend is in the hospital and she tried to give me a lapdance.
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
I thought my period ended but I felt it again as soon as Pitbull started playing
I need you to know that everytime my toddler does the downward facing dog in the nude I think about the night you and your dude fell in love.
I just ate cottage cheese and went to the gym at 6 this morning...the things i'll do because I might get naked in front of a new boy
Like 50% of me thinks it'll be weird, 25% of me is curious & 25% of me is horny
Randomize
