There are sesame seeds in my vagina. This cannot be explained with logic.
it was a 10 min screaming orgasm. i don't care that you were next door and didn't appreciate all the noise.
I just kept pointing at random people and telling the bartender to put it on their tab.
Not sure I just ate a really big pot brownie, I feel like my future is uncertain
Just did a relay race involving shotgunning beers, cannonballs and riding a blowup whale. Never want to leave vacation.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Told her my spirit animal was the spread eagle. Now that's my name in her phone.
How is it possible that I'm still a virgin and you've managed to have sex in a cheetah print onesie TWICE
Someone should make a valentines day card that says "I like the way you continuously consume thc with no concept of a limit other than drug supply" Because I'd send that to you.
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
I never realized how you can accidentally go home with someone until tequila got involved.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
Good news! Blood’s flowing!
Randomize
