i dont think my boyfriend knows how much of a pain it is to shave my ass
I wish they made helmets for livers.
why do cheetos always look like penises
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
the fire alarm went off. we werent sure whether to leave or turn the music up louder
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
Who wants vodka and apple sauce
The sense of comroderie I've built with my liver over the course of this semester is beautiful
It's been this way for a few days. I had chick fil a on Friday so this could be an attack from the Gay Gods as punishment.
Sadly, she's the porn star that got away
I'm either a high functioning alcoholic or I'm making the most of the fact that this is the last year that its socially acceptable to be black-out drunk five days a week.
I don't particularly remember setting a firecracker off in my hand. No more tequila.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
He nailed that bed down really well so it won't break again. All I could think while he was nailing it was "challenge accepted".
it's my fake id's birthday. i'm wearing a hat, and i have a beard. i'm untouchable. TO THE BARS!
Randomize
