whoever created level 16 on brickbreaker is a dick
The drunken tricycle race really added some class to the Tour de Franzia. Until everyone wiped out and started puking.
Green mimosas i think yes
In case you were wondering, taking me to see beauty and the beast in theaters would totally get you an unsolicited sloppy beej in the parking lot afterwards.
You should probably take note of that and make it happen.
If you ever wanna get tagged teamed, army guys are pretty open to it. Write that down for future reference.
My chest smells like french fries. Get at me attractive men.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
From now on, you must never doubt my ability to go from drunken rambling lovesick girl to Stepford wife within the course of a few hours.
I'm adopting to save the world from the moral outrage that would be my offspring
My mom said she saw you at the grocery store. Said you looked like you were "headed for a Lindsay Lohan quarter life crisis of sorts"
A surplus of mistakes were made and I don't know what 89% of them were.
Someone somewhere has a picture of me vomiting in a bus stop trash can while a drag queen held my hair for me.
Pride claims another victim
I need you there. I need someone to glance at when other people inevitably annoy me.
Oh my god I'm in a public bathroom with a space heater. I never want to leave
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Randomize
