Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
he told me it was a naked video of him so i opened it. i just got rickrolled while sexting
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Dude this stripper just dry humped the settings off my phone. She earned that dollar
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I knew when her mom came in spraying me with Febreeze telling me I smelled like shame it was going to be a rough day.
The bartender has no bra and is giving out free shots. Call mom I'm getting married.
If I spent my amateur stripper money does that mean I am cleansed of my sins?
Well I woke up naked, with a santa hat on, and a bag of beef jerky next to me. So yeah, I would say it was a pretty successful trolley
There is no issue with you seeing me...morally or ethically. we'll update your resume anyway. I really need to have sex with you later. Really
I want to see a guy holding a pizza and a bottle of scotch and a box of magnums. I'm a simple woman.
I was the oldest, shortest, and soberest at the New Years party last night. My life sucks
We were covered in sweat and glitter, making out onstage, in front of everyone. I think it was a good night.
The dentist walked in on me trying to bottle some laughing gas to take home with me. That high.
He's got a big dick, a steady job and tells me I'm pretty. There is litterally nothing else I look for I a guy.
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