What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
I told him I'm not paying rent anymore because he's seen my boobs.
She volunteers at a homeless shelter. You volunteered to drink 7 day expired milk for $3. No chance. Give up.
she just came into my room, drunkenly shoved six dollars into my bra and told me to spend it on chicken wings.
he tried to catch his projectile vomit...then went back to beer pong
Aaaaand then she sang MDMA to the tune of the YMCA song, with appropriate gestures.
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Is using cherry lube as jam shameful or hilarious
He stopped in the middle of us banging in order to check in for his Southwest flight.
Pandora was on point with the sex music tonight
A condom was pulled out of your vagina by a doctor today I do not think you can pull off "closet" hoe anymore
You can't just bring up bondage and then stop answering me
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