for real. he might as well bring dogs if they're lower than a 7.
I met him yesterday and now he's wanting to hold hands and kiss in public. i hate this
I was fingering her, she was moaning, and we were singing Mulan
Your maid of honor is passed out in a golf cart on the 18th hole.
Two things: Why did I wake up in a pool of blood? And am I still invited to the wedding?
No idea. And yes be here at 4
I'm responsible for my client's overall well-being. Which is terrifying coming from someone that can't stop masturbating and eats leftover pizza just about everyday.
My birthday is in 11 days. Going ham. Consciousness will not be an option
Pretty sure I was high. I thought there was music coming out of my makeup bag.
Do you remember lying across two tables saying 'go away I'm trying to pull' to me, Sollie and Sean?
Got a minor my first day of college from the bike police. I'm gonna like it here
May the power of my ass compel you!!
She is getting high and watching the Hobbit. I want her life.
So she is basically watching her own life story: short people traveling to strange places.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
You told me you didn't want to go to the hospital because you were drunk, but because you didn't want to leave the "fun".
Sometimes you gotta do what you gotta do... and then you need to delete the history so you're girlfriend doesn't see it.
Randomize
