"Morning after" poops are always like, interesting.
So the hot 23 year old i went home with last night is really 17 and was here for orientation.. i feel like a pedifile...
In that case, you should probably come up to the union, orientation is in full swing, your kind of guys ;)
cunt.
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
You should swallow it and be like the ticking crocodile. Only you play Still of the Night.
I told her for every minute she spent down there, I would donate a dollar to the Haiti relief fund... totally worked
Okay I've seen like three girls walking around crying today. Weird?
everyone's regretting their thursdays.
Registered sex offender is the model in class today.... There are too many things wrong with him getting naked in front of a lot of college students.
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I really am. The stoner chick wants to get a python.
No, absolutely not. If you see that cunt, throw confetti or eggs at her.
That's a pretty extreme jump from confetti to eggs
They're playing house music in my dentists office again, wtf is wrong with these people. That's not the music you want to get a root canal to
I'm getting 800 nuggets from McDonald's
I woke up in my neighbors backyard with glitter on my teeth and sparklers super glued on my bra. which part was your fault?
Come over here. Bongs and porn. I found the promised land
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Randomize
