I realized today that I should stop thinking so much with my vagina instead of my brain.
Please tell me this doesn't mean another "surprise road trip" where I spend all my money on gas and the SURPRISE destination is the abortion clinic.
But what if I pay for the gas?
I just added her as a friend on Facebook. I met her 5 minutes ago and there are already more than 50 pics of me uploaded... from other nights.
Ok. Cause im very serious about this. I wanna strip and do coke for a month
This is getting ridiculous. See/touch her boobs=good day. Not see/not touch her boobs=bad day. I am legitimately depressed over the lack of tits in my hands right now.
you have failed as an in class drinking partner.
Everything was yummy and fruit flavored and five alive and happymeas.
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
He said it was fake. Like really? Hey baby, I wanna sleep with you, so here's a picture of a fake tiny dick
it's just not right when you're boyfriend has a nicer ass than you do.
I don't want to be "that guy" but I may have accidentally sent a dick pic to your mom
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Many a woman has been in tears over the passing of my penis' whorish ways.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
I should probably apologize for licking you last night since you drove me home, but I stand by my decision
Randomize
