So I said to her: one time i broke my dick and when they took off the cast i could cum across a baseball field
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
i'm smoking hookah in a kayak. how did this happen.
We spent three hours cleaning our room this morning. It was spotless and smelling good. I come home from work tonight and she has already smoked weed in it and "accidently" spilled vodka on the floor.
She literally thanked me for asking before I put in her ass
wait a second. did i just remember you the other night referring to your tits as tia and tamara.....
i think he saw me take a picture of his dick
Missing part of a tooth cos I tried to open a beer with my teeth, just saw a dude that looked like bill Cosby though so things are looking up
i think i just asked a donut if it was ok
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
So far I've taken two naps, went out and bought a pizza called the Hipster, and in 15 min I'm gonna make a snow angel. Conquering Snowlandia. How bout you?
Is there such thing as a tasteful dick pic? I think I just got one if they exist.
I woke up cuddling a ham. That's not a euphemism. I actually slept with an entire ham.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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