Someone took a freaking dump on a roll of toilet paper. Next to the toilet. No shit in the toilet. Just on the roll of toilet paper.
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
Only your vagina holds the key to what happened last night.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
Apparently you can talk a girl into leaving the bar and coming back to your tent, who knew?
He told me to put on my big boy pants, then take them off and fuck her before he smacks me with a chair. His pep talks suck.
I know how to say Yes, No, and Your Mother's Vagina. So almost fluent.
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I just power puked in the office bathroom.. blew blood vessels in my eyes and now I'm ready for a donut.... success
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
yea talk to her if you feel up to it. Just remember who you are
Oh shit sorry I just gave lion king advice sorry not mufasa
It would be awesome if I knew whose teeth these were in my pocket
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
If the amount of time the owner spent looking at my tits is any indication, I’d say I can probably sleep my way to the top
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