Cool, see you soon... she just admitted to her friends that it was a queef.
she was so ugly that the sight of her made me shiver and then i had to play it off like a draft blew by that only i felt.
the pharmacist hit on me as i picked up my herpes medecine. i think we found a winner.
just went to the store to buy a mop & tampons. i feel like i just gave in to all those women jokes.
I need a hobby that doesnt involve alcohol and my tv
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
She fucking ripped my chandelier out of my ceiling. How does that make her a keeper?
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
It's like someone is grabbing my scrodum with pliers and just hanging there.
Myy bathroom floor makes me think I'm on Mars. Also. Did you realize that yesterday we perfected thee mind high-five??
Future roommate keeps sending me pictures of cool shit she has for our dorm and I'm just like "... I have a set of Aggie wine glasses a great set of tits."
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Well I found my neighbors on tinder if you're wondering how my night went
The magician guy on probation is here at the bar. I'm gonna get him to show me a trick
All I could think about was how many vaginas had been on the toliet that I was pukin in
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