She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
on the brightside, the semester can only get better from getting a dui at 8 am on the first day.
your optimism is becoming unhealthy
so you told her it was a 'nam scar? i mean, how old does she think you are.
its not a party unless mikie exposes himself
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
who was wearing the fake mustache? I just found one in my cleavage
I swear she hasnt shaved since the last time we hooked up 5 months ago
I woke up in my own bed clutching a key to a Ramada in another state.
not now. havin a heart to heart with drunk fred flinstone
It was the night of "what the fuck have you done with my daughter and where is she" texts from mom...
Hungover. Have to fix everything I've broken. I'm gonna be very late.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
just like cleaning my room and being more organized in my life. more so just making sure a toaster doesn't end up in my car again for 2 months
Nothing makes me prouder to be liberal and socialist than the idea of desecrating the memory of Ronald Reagan
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Randomize
