Apparently I think casual Friday means I can show up unshaven in yesterday's clothes and reeking of booze.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
during a bj, his alarm went off and he said "At the buzzer"
i have at this current moment imbibed enough alcohol to float immerse or otherwise submerge a goat of respectable size. tequila
Her virginity is one of the last things that remains of our childhood.
on a brighter note, the cop thought i could kick adams ass if it came down to that and said he had $20 on me if it ever happens
That's what my new years consisted of. Consoling heartbroken girls and having people throw up in my hands.
Do you remember trying to make pizzas with the domino workers last night...while trying to speak their language with them.. spanish?
btw, whatever u do, dont try and take that towel away from her..i tried, it got ugly..she said some things im sure she regrets.
I just found out my younger brother has me saved in his contacts as "Womb Primer" and I don't know what to do with this information
There's a dude wearing a banana suit at the house across the street....
So I "accidentally" brought my road beers into church for this wedding
And they fell out of my pocket on the pew. Made quite a noise...safe to say I'm batting a thousand
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
We hotboxed his bathroom. going to be a good night
Hotbox went wrong - smoke sets off fire alarm. Firefighters coming
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