Also I am about to cut a ringtone from "Sex Machine" so James Brown can tell me to "get up, get on up" in the morning
I once woke up to the scream from 'get up offa that thing' and smacked my head on my desk
Just woke up in bed, AC on high, with a fresh pack of smokes, an unopened pint of vodka, and a bag w a beef patty w cheese in it. I think my roommate's like the toothfairy or something. Or that was way more Xanax than I needed.
it's business casual sex. like no kissing, shake hands after, occasional frequency
does wine, beer, and vodka mix well??
dude, everything can mix, this is college.
i'm using my hot pot to make jello shots in a muffin tin. i'm never ever graduating.
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser. I will not fuck this loser.
Was this before or after he told that homeless man outside the bar about his past sexual experiences?
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Either that or he's gagged in a strangers trunk right now.
Well I suppose either way he's learning a pretty tough lesson right now.
You got kicked out after 30 minutes, 3 beers and 2 shots. Group record. Also you kept rubbing his belly and calling him buddha.
You attract beautiful men with jobs. I attract ONE WITH A SOUL PATCH.
it was a sexy soul patch.
I've slapped too many boys and done too many naked laps for it only to be 10:30pm
Randomize
