There's a woman here that looks like a cross between Michael Jackson and Flipper.
I need to find out who his wife is so I can fuck her before he gets to mine.
he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think you ate grass..but you refused to open your mouth so we could see..
Just saw out breathalyzer tubes from last night on the side of the road. Glad the cop let us know that they are biodegradable
I don't think I have but I might've died. If I have then come get me, I'm in the flower bed. And still game.
Man, I wish they all looked like that. Your vagina deserves to have a nice frame around it, and God's signature at the bottom.
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
He came over drunk in a speedo i told him he has my vote he said who are you voting for when i said obama he took off running and shouting i was worthless like an empty beer can
There's a chance I told a cop that I was ready for him to strip I may have even taken some ones out of my purse and stuck them in his holster
The fact that it neither of us came up with the reason of "it's morally and ethically wrong" speaks volumes about this relationship
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
Also I am throwing a blaZer over what I wore to bed and calling it an outfit.
it’s not easy to sexualize brunch. work with me, babe.
I may or may not have spent student loan money on a vibrator, that falls under living expenses right?
Randomize
