Let's bang like we're on a Lifetime Channel movie.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
i just licked my manager on accident and i'm freaking out
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
Drunk on Tuesday. Double fisting. Mmmbop is playing. Only girl in the group. Life is complete.
If I take diet pills with my edibles I'll be a perfect person
Quick question: how do I take a nice picture of my ass? I'm asking you because I figure with an ass like yours you're probably experienced.
Drinking vodka straight from my water bottle because of the debate. I just need to forget.
But is that really the name you want to scream out during climax?
Also, lets remember that we have known each other for nearly a decade and our two most recent photos to one another are boxes of plan b
That's the 3rd time I've gone home with her and she passed out on me. I poured 6 boxes of cereal on her and left
Amnesty Wednesday? I'm free to do dirty things to you and you can't laugh or judge?
I'm gonna celebrate Valentines day by watching Bob Ross videos and tripping balls.
why the hell are you crying over taco bell?
Next time I think it’s a good idea to hook up with any of your wife’s family members or friends just kick me in my dick
Randomize
