i don't know what kind of porn he watches.. but that is NOT how you do it...
a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
If penises could fly, my ass would totally be an airport.
He's pole dancing on a heat lamp.
Yea. You cant just squeeze my balls. They are sensitive
Someone shattered a urinal.
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Go tell your boss to go fuck himself because you have beer and doritos and zombies waiting on you
Inebriation Olympics: Team Drunk vs Team Stoned. This weekend. It's on.
Sex followed by chicken and waffles... Hands down my favorite morning plans. Count me in.
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
if happy hour never ends, you’ll never have to eat kale
I told him that we shouldn't complicate things. He responded with a dick pic.
I just woke up and there was a condom wrapper stuck in my hair. This is my life.
Didn't you sleepover at your grandparents?
Randomize
