That's the last time I try to be adventurous at a gas station
It sucks..Now I'm depressed because appearence wise, she's the closest to my favorite pornstar I'll ever get..
maddie and i have invented a community puke bowl. explanation later
When he left he said something to the effect of "well now that I've been used..." I think he may be on to me.
WHY AM I ALWAYS THE GAY FRIEND?!?!
by "whatever happens, happens" i meant "we are totally hooking up again on tuesday." i thought that was obvious.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
that's where you went wrong. never assume I'm adult enough to do something on my own.
Oh and yeah that does count as public urination.
The last thing I remember is him yelling from across the room "WE FINISHED THE HANDLE!"
It was 11pm.
If he gets me coffee, cold or no I'll make him see Jesus with my mouth.
My friends said as soon as you walked in, I motor boated you like there was no tomorrow.
Yeah, I liked it.
She was talking about how a garden gnome was hitting on her the whole night. We thought she was just that high, but turned out the gnome was that guy in the weird hat.
Btw that $18 I gave you to run around outside naked came out of your wallet.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
Randomize
