Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I just saw the dad from "Little People Big World" at the airport. I chased him down and congratulated him for beating the DUI.
we've reached the level in our friendship where i don't think he would rape me
I'm bakin' bread in my pussy!
What?
I have a yeast infection.
There's always the 'not have sex with the drunk girl I just met at some party' option.
That was the plan but Tequila showed up at the party too.
True life. I have to get a nose job due to a deviated septum from blowing coke. Thank you college.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
Can we please start going to the gym before I accidentally kill someone via explosive fat girl pants button accident
Think of something healthy and responsible. Now think of the exact opposite, let's do the latter
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
He was the only one not on Xanax so he holds the key to what actually happened last night
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
saying, "have a good fall!" After fucking a virgin boy is good etiquette, right?
also. got fucked to usher last night. dunno if thats a new high or a new low
Was it at least a good usher song?
Randomize
