i think i just saw hanson at the grocery store. one might have been a girl. hard to tell. lets call that one taylor.
in retrospect, sexting while high was a mistake - I meant to say "I'll fuck you stupid, baby" but of course I said "I'll fuck your stupid baby"
I would go down on you faster than GM stock
Just saw two girls doing a walk of shame together. Slut bonding at it's best.
and then he started using my ass as a stressball
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
We are doing handstands and somersaults in the pool. With an inflatable beer pong table and our regular beer pong table. We're ponging by land and by sea
We ended up sleeping in the emergency room for safety (you know, well lit, cameras..) and then an ambulance drove us to the train station around 4am. great last night in australia.
the remote is under the fat chick passed out on the couch. Good luck .. and may god have mercy on your soul.
It was awful. Their identical twins so it was like having sex with Jeff wearing a wig and shaved legs.
I just stabbed open a can of Spaghetti Os with a spork. Who says I cant take care of myself?
you were crying saying "if you love me you will find me a loaf of bread"
Will you rub my calves while I masturbate?
the staff put glowsticks in the urinals of the porta-pottys last night and honestly drunk me has never been more grateful for anything in his life
I was totes going to lose it to him last night, but I cried and we ate mexican food instead.
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