I'm at derby!
The kentucky derby! But its night time, theres no way the horses are awake at this time.
Dude, I woke up in the middle of the night and your room mate was just standing there at the foot of the bed, watching us sleep.. you don't remember me shaking the shit out of you to tell you this?!
This could explain the reason why I've been finding his clothing and keys scattered in random parts of my room..
AND THIS DOESN'T WORRY YOU?!
Sandra Bullock looks like the most recent Michael Jackson
any plan I had today of being a productive member of society, I am officially throwing out the window.
ok, just found out the kid i had random sex with in April was on wheel of fortune so i can really no longer say i regret that night
no i decided against it. savin my coke binge for finals week.
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
I think showering with 5 people and a half gallon of vodka was one of the best decisions we have ever made.
you crashed our wine night double date and sat on the floor eating cheese talking about how big his dick is.
LOOK AT MY HAIR, DOES THIS LOOK LIKE THE HAIR OF A PERSON WHO HAS HER LIFE TOGETHER?
They tried to dine n dash at dennys and the waiter jumped on their car and broke their windshield
Also, if asking a guy to come over and watch curling with you doesn't scream let's fuck then idk what does
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
Sorry I trained your dog in Spanish last night. At least he listens to someone now.
it's like he didn't even know what a vagina was
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