He told me he was ok to drive home. Then I found him face-planted in the parking lot.
She called me Jeff during sex, I just kept going like nothing happened. To think, if I was a woman that would be a problem.
I now realize that they made gum to take the taste of dick out of your mouth.
I hit on her. So did Sarah. Neither of us got anywhere. I swear she's asexual. Like Switzerland.
omg just made cake vodka jello shots, sooooo excited
dear god these taste like death. death and sprinkles
she has like 12 pairs of underwear people left at her house from the other night
Everybody shut up a minute, we need to discuss how much nicer the world would be if pants weren't a thing.
my memory may be fuzzy, but the 20+ naked pictures I sent him were surprising clear
she sent me a picture of dilf asleep in bed with the caption "what happened last night?"
He's listening to "my heart will go on" by himself in the living and its not even noon. MAKE IT STOP.
I was standing in my mom's kitchen in only my neon green thong, eating pizza over the garbage can, and sobbing while he was yelling at me.
Not sure when or why this happened but I just stopped giving a shit about everything
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Why am I not drinking beer at 8:26am is the question
I can't be held responsible for what I do for you after a blowjob like that.
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