Dude I just peed on my pants. not in them though. and yes there is a difference
So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
The boys are giving me the exam answers and I don't even have to expose my body..yayy engineering!
The crazy thing is, I dont actually know where the cat is, she said something bout the back of the toilet and a sock.
We turned everything surrounding BP and the oil leak into a "that's what she said" drinking game. We've been drunk for a month
i just went 2 months without giving head... thats like two months without coffee. or two months without sun.
Im doing shots of vodka in the bathroom covered in pillows.
Tornado warnings are fun!
Did you seduce any young men into coming home to your love nest of poutine and jäger bombs?
People spilled so much that there was a thin film of beer on the floor. You took a running start, screamed, "SLIP AND SLIDE!" and slid face first through the drywall.
I can't figure out how to eat twizzlers and I have to be at a wedding reception in an hour.
Please never have kids.
this night just went from meh to biblical thanks to drunk naked yahtzee
not sure what stings more, my ass or my pride...
This is why I should’ve just stuck with blow jobs. I’m good at blow jobs. Blow jobs never fail me.
He calculated like a serious conversion in his head the other day and got a crazy number and I was like damn that’s hot please proceed to take your clothes off.
She's like a cask of Amontillado. Very tempting if I was drunk, but sober, I know I'll get fucked over in the end.
Randomize
