Encyclopedia Brown and the case of the missing condom.
I hope Brown isn't a clue to its whereabouts.
I could have mohawked her pubes.
TAKE DOWN THAT PHOTO OF ME IN THE NURSES COSTUME NOW.
I spent an hour trying to convert bar outfits to church outfits. Its hard.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
I just walked past a woman in the bar stroking a mans crotch, yelling 'I made this. I made this happen.'
Hovering on the line between her being fuckable and me being too drunk to fuck. Life's juggling act in progress here.
he told me it was like eating gods vagina.
Day drinking straight vodka out of a Mountain Dew can being towed behind a kayak on a raft. And no, there is no time difference, it really is 10 am.
I woke up the other day with my Google browser open to "DIY lip injections"... I also just received a vial of hyaluronic acid and a package of TB syringes from amazon. I'm down.
I will have no part of this.
He's hot, you can get laid, and you may get free drugs. It's the trifecta of banging a drug dealer
Back at condo with chick. What is the condom situation urgent response needed
He literally stole all the change that was on my floor and ran away while I was peeing. I have to rethink my standards.
And for the record I didn't even have sex last night. I threw up in his toilet and slept in his bed until noon
Mom got drunk as hell, crashed Dad's wedding and some how left with the best man. This is why you should be glad you aren't my sibling.
Randomize
