you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
Define "chronic" masturbator.
There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
This guy just came in and told me how he bought a clock for his cat so his cat can know when he's coming home...
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
I'll be there. With Doritos and whisky. Don't expect much more.
The only way that night could have gotten any better would be if a unicorn would descend from the heavens with a nacho bell grande in a bag around its horn beat boxing Hakunah Matata.
I think it's time for a new pick up line. So far my " hey you want to go back to my place, order a pizza and fuck?" Has set me at an all time low downtown 0/4
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
This mustache is awesome. I can't pass by a mirror without looking in it and thinking damn, I'd like to give that guy a handy.
I now have a other guy willing to drive 3 hours for my vagina. At my next gyno appointment I'm asking her if there's cocaine in there.
GETTING HORNY AT RANDOM IS REALLY FUCKING INCONSIDERATE.
You brought a jar of mayonnaise to bed. It doesn't get any worse than that.
Riddle me this: I can stream porn just fine but try and watch my college class and nooo it won't work
Be there in 4 minutes
I promise it wsnt a penis when i put it in my mouth
Randomize
