I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
made out with the bouncer to distract him from how illegitimate my fake id is.
I have been thinking about it and I am really glad we decided to order helmets.
friends with benefits? more like friends with awkward sexual tension
They had a "who can aim further away from the toilet" contest. I'm now washing piss off my ceiling.
It finally happened. My conscience stopped working. I've never felt so free
Somewhere between yelling how am I gonna make it to my flight and more titie shots I stopped caring
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
I WANT TO JUMP IN TO A VOLCANO
Drinking and decided to streak in the apartment fountain. Canadian goose shit and sharp rocks on the bottom. I sobered up quick. That was a very bad idea.
Hey do you remember me?
You were a giant banana.... how could I forget.
Just don’t be like me and break up between Christmas and NYE and then get blackout on NYE and puke in your undies.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
And he put his penis in my face and I back handed it away.
Apparently my hair turned out really good because I got my butthole licked by a stranger last night
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