If that was your dad, he is hot
Two girls I have never met just thumb wrestled to decide who gets to make out with me.
I hurt. I blacked out in a onesie. Reevaluation needs to happen.
I dont know how to say this. But the hottest girl where im at has one arm.
I'm sorry I kept calling you a pussy... but to be fair, you were being a pussy.
Literally best acid trip ever. Better than sex. At one point she looked over at me, started crying, holds up her hands and said "dinosaur tears of sadness". Craziest roommate ever.
Ya I know. She's self aware though, like the terminator. Which is the best kind of crazy
I just call them the hipster frat because they wear shirts other than pastel polos and listen to MGMT while playing dice.
I deleted my history right in front of my girlfriend w/out her seeing. Let's go skydiving with no parachutes. I can live thru anything.
It's like my uterus was saying, "hey, you're not pregnant, but imagine if you were!"
Man I can't wait till Thursday if strippers and beer are what you consider "research"
It would be weird sobbing cry sex.
Turns out he's just a recently divorced IT guy. Not a wizard.
Well, I have no idea where my underwear is, so yea I would say it was a good weekend.
You are now at the point where people no longer question whether or not you might be on drugs. They now know for certain that you are
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