i like that octo mom she is my favorite xmen
Most awkward thing ever: Meeting your BattleShits opponent post war.
your ex dropped by. you can call me dwight howard, cuz im the king of rebounds
I just creeped all your pictures on Facebook -- it was like I watched you grow up right before my eyes.
Skanksgiving break is awesome already... pilgrim and indian roleplay tonight.
so this guy comes in from the patio covered in puke and says "we gotta go"...Yup u need to go is an understatement
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
The tent wall coming unstaked in the wind and hitting me in the face really sobered me up
Hey, so, you were my "one phone call" last night... Thanks for not picking up. See, this is why I never call you.
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
Let's not forget that we had sex on the ground in public tonight.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
