i wanted to be an indian when i was a child. apparently you cannot grow up to be an indian.
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
That reminds me...we need to get swords
when does it stop being whiskey dick and start just being me bad in bed?
she just totaled her parents new car because there was a bee in the car. So she crashed into a light pole to kill it.
the world took limewire and four lokos away from me in one week....hello depression
just saw a couple drunkenly stumble over to the family planning aisle of Walgreens. inspiring.
I'm pretty sure it all started going downhill last night when they suggested I see how much sambuca I could fit in my mouth
If for no other reason than to cuddle with that puppy, you have to hook up with him again.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I have no idea. But I feel like I could climb a mountain and then have sex on it.
All I know is that every time I looked at my glass it was full again and I thought it would be rude not to drink it
Yeah but then I feel like it's worth it like bro you just stabbed me the least you can do is get me a fuckin otter pop.
it's like that moment that you're driving and realize you're lost except instead of driving i'm just sitting here in my living room drunk, eating a plate of sausages, drinking red wine and just thinking "i'm going to be 28 this year. i know people who are married, with beautiful and well behaved children. where was the wrong turn?"
Bro I needs to be rescued in 30 mins...prfeebly someone died in a car accident needs to be the excuse
Randomize
