Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
Blood drive hookups: you will probably faint during the sex, but at least you know neither of you has AIDS
I'm gagging in the liquor aisle just thinking about how much alcohol I'll be drinking this weekend.
She fell down the stairs and hit her head on the concrete. Then she stood up, flashed us and stumbled away. I forgot to get her number..
I like that we make it a requirement to howl at the moon every time we get drunk together.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
I just traded ecstasy for trapeze lessons...you in?
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I'm making mistakes. Coming up with girl now
I hate me. That girl was hiiiiideous.
You shouldn't play strip poker when you're having a wet fart kind of day.
He fucked my brains out then fed me cheese and peanut butter. I might be in love.
I came so hard my ears popped.
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
havent showered in 2 days. just Febrezed my balls in the car before going into a movie alone with a 40 of Guinness.there isn't a word in English for how single I am.
I don't want to sleep with any other woman but you but I want to try this whole mother daughter thing that would be nuts
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