I did that thing again where I get way too drunk and go gay. Then wake up in the morning and freak out at the person. Yet another bar I cannot go back to
all you did was keep googling "what time is it" over and over and over
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
As a side note, my abs are sore. Most likely cause? Orgasms. Thank you.
Watching water boil has never been so amazing. I love wake-and-bakes.
I think I love you, but I may be biased because we had pirate sex.
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
my friend thinks you're hot & wants to fuck you ps i'm my friend
You asked the bartender if she was trying to get you drunk. She cut you off after that.
You yell at me for giving you beer but not for licking spilled beer off your chest.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Do you think you could cook pancakes while i blow you?
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
Randomize