I just had to explain to the pharmacy cashier that the Plan B and thank you notes I was buying were not related.
bathroom sex at kohls isnt as trashy as it seems
theyre just this beautiful family of functioning alcoholics. i want them to adopt me.
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
I trust that you have thought of something completely illegal for us to do this weekend.
just to let ya know we might have to take a stripper snowboardin sometime
I have no words
Neither did my mom, when she walked in on me squating with my balls in a cup of hot water.
I didn't talk to any girls wearing masks because I wanted to avoid making the big mistake of making out with my sister.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
the fact that I always have. bottle of tequila in my purse is not helping my current sitch
She told me the only rule was that I couldn't cum on her Batman blanket.
You know it was a good night when you wake up w/o a shirt in someone elses living room next to a pancake on a spoon in a bowl of spaghetti.
I woke up next to a Big Mac box.. And had no sheets or clothes on. The night was a success I think.
If that pentatonix bullshit is playing when I get home we're breaking up
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