are we going to glenview for practice??
(3 hrs later) aids
where r u? what is story? im way too high right now
I really wish I could go back in time to change the course of events that led to me sitting on the internet at 3 Googling 'Traumatic masturbation' while talking to you about failed dates, and running a virtual restaurant in a video game.
true best friends attempt to put quarters in each others butts. Thanks for the best birthday ever!
and he thought i came like four times in 2 mins. my leg just kept cramping up
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Btw, I'm creating an event on fb to celebrate the one yr anniversary since we went to jail.
What's sign language for "you may not be the father?" Kinda important right now.
I told you he wasn't attractive.
Do you think I cared? I was wiping myself with a scarf..
I did the walk of shame in nothing but a sleeping bag and now I'm on my way to pick up plan B. Let's not make a habit of this.
Sounds like a good New Years
So apparently when I'm drunk and want water I pant like a dog and expect to have water given to me..
Having to crawl on my hands and knees because I woke up with a mysterious broken foot this morning...
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It wasn't until I lost my earring that I realized "I've been here before". Turns out we fucked a year ago. We've decided to make it a tradition.
I can't dude. Last time I was there, I blew the bartender in the bathroom at last call.
Just filed for child support I hope he gets the paperwork on Father's Day
Randomize
