once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I've hooked up with 3 different guys already this week...don't tell me I haven't been a productive member of society
Did you write "I hope this gives you aids" on my box of capn crunch?
According to the bell hop, we stumbled in about 4 and then cannon balled into the pool.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
I didnt think the feeling of accomplishment for fucking brothers would be this great.
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
Definitely a Xanax and Jell-O shots kinda day...except my Jell-O shots are really just a big bowl of a Jell-O shot that I use a spoon to eat.
Ryan friended me on LinkedIn and it took everything in my power not to endorse him for sexual dysfunction as a skill.
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
I should get an "I gave blood today" type of sticker, but instead it would say "I went balls deep today"
This weekend I was almost blinded by a cumshot to the eye, so happy Labor Day I guess
Oh. So it is a cult
Basically. But a nice cult. They eat muffins and talk about fundraising.
I am at the car wash dressed as a turn of the century librarian
There are leaves in my underwear?
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