I've decided to bang my pen-pal.
Im forcing mysellf to pee so i can fit more margaritas in me...
That taco smell coming from your belly button was a huge turnoff
so she sprained her ankle somehow and her friend had to carry her out while all 7 of us watched. do we even need to vote on that or is that automatic induction into the hall of shame?
there's a picture of him beating off in the library with a cowboy hat. please steer clear of this one if you ever want to be respected.
i wasn't going to tell her about the threesome but i had to explain the tree and the green paint everywhere
I am nonfunctional stoned. I had to ask ben to put me somewhere away from all the people I'm sitting on someones bed watching a wall. Not alright. Should not have come.
Just bartered a McD's cheeseburger and fries for two pitchers. Oregon Trail ain't got shit on me.
On a scale of 1 to "bad descision", where does stealing my racist neighbors dog and giving him my roomates dildo for a chew toy rate?
So I went to daintily fall onto my bed like I was in a hotel commercial and I completely missed my matress and landed on my floor. Just thought u should know.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Can we talk about the fact that a stranger is doing a line of coke off our living room table right now?
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
i look like i'm walk-of-shaming but i'm really showered and re-clothed and rallying. i fool everyone
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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