I have a feeling we are going to become cougars together.
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
i just got the best bj of my life in the pastors office at church.. Youre right jesus really does love me.
Goodbye hot boy in my geo class...goodbye my lover, goodbye my friend. you have been the one, you have been the reason I came to claassss
Practice the "sorry I may have given you herpes" conversation with me before I call him and break the news
so my daughter wakes me up this morning and i feel like a vibration so im thinking she has my phone..nope my vibrator
Real housewives of new joisy starts MONDAY. Skype session after? Virtual slap the bag?
You asked me if I was judging you for being drunk, and if I can hypnotize you make sober.
I need an adult. someone more adult than my current state
Plus now I feel weird sleeping with you. It's like shooting a three legged deer. It's already at a disadvantage and couldn't get what it's full potential deserves.
Halloween: the only night of the year wheee the more high I get, the more it compliments my makeup and outfit.
What am I doing? I'm usually only attracted to horrible people.
I got arrested FOR running from the cops. In college Dad got arrested and THEN ran from the cops. So it could be worse.
just saw two mice fucking on our bed...i think its time to find a new place to live
Just saw a commercial for non alcoholic baileys cream. WHAT THE HELL IS THE POINT?!
Randomize
