So she stayed over last night and slept walked in to my moms room where she used the bathroom and then proceeded to get in bed with my moms naked boyfriend. So yeah, at least now my family got to meet her.
Also pencil in smooth jazz and illegal activities. The usual.
Dude, smoked out of a pumpkin tonight. I like Halloween more now
she's using motion activated glade air fresheners as some sort of early warning system
You left for an hour, then walked up to us at the bar, pulled 80 dollars out of your bra and yelled " drinks are on him".
We need to step up our tailgating...they're here drinking out of a prosthetic leg
Ack! That is the first dick pic I've ever received. A) congrats B) that is way grosser than I ever thought t would be.
Lets get coked out and steal a parrot this summer
I only blacked out one night of three if that isn't fucking personal growth idk what is
So, left this guys house wearing a #1 Grandpa shirt and I think this is the best sex score I've ever had.
For reals. He's my age and he still hangs out at his frat house & gets hammered every weekend. Idk if I'm jealous of him or if I pity him
I went to Walmart last night to buy some CDs--which is a sentence I never thought I'd say in 2016.
I don't just want drugs. I deserve drugs.
Yeah but the jokes on her right? We just got a new couch and hers still has a cum stain on it from like six months ago
Do you think he will let me wear my neck fan while he throws my back out?
Please shut the fuck up.
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