Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I just saw Ann slam dunk her puke bag into a trash can on Avenue A. You ladies might want to consider putting the Patron shots down and going home.
I seriously fake cumming more than i poop.
So in our children's lit class, some jackass little boy had gone thru the where's waldo book and circled waldo. I realize you would have been that kid.
I didn't know what to do with her so I just tied her to a bench.
We were laying in the basement dry humping to the rhythm of the washing machine
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
We wore fake mustaches and shirts that said team mustache ride to a party we weren't even invited to
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
That dude with the beard walked up to me, turned my water into wine with everclear and kool-aid, and walked away. Pretty sure drunk Jesus is back.
Metaphysical thesis on the illusion of self+ 2 day adderal binge = the walls of reality are crumbling
he bit THROUGH my nipple
plus side, no need to pay for a piercing.
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Just passed a girl holding a jar filled with what appeared to be diarrhea
Randomize
