every time i send "do you want some cock" to her T9 manages to change it to "anal"...i think she's mad now
is it sad that pink shorts and cowboy hats remind me of getting jizz in the hair?
is it sad that whenever i need to spell "independent" i still sing that one rap song?
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
Just saw your girl from last night... Be embarrassed
how do you feel about lunch break shots ?
I am VERY upset that you called my fiesta a waste of time.
After you verbally abused the McDonalds employee for not making your fries fast enough, the fact that you woke up on a random lawn does not surprise me.
Well, if he didn't want to get caught mid-gay experience by his girlfriend, he shouldn't have pushed so hard to do MDMA with me.
They put 3 tbs of cinnamon in vodka shots and called it the "cinnamon death challenge"
Sometimes you just have to have sex for a Netflix password.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
Dashing through the vodka, in a tinder swiping rage, all the fuck boys get a no, laughing all the way.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
Last night you were prentending to be a broom stick...you were laying on the floor and humming the Harry potter song.
Randomize
