Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
the girl I was having sex with just mumbled victory for msu during sex. i love basketball season
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
I knocked myself out momentarily last night when I fell and hit my head off of my jewelry box while trying to take his pants off... while he was passed out.
I walked in and saw him spread eagle on the couch beatin it, while he just pet the dog that sat there and stared. mom was pissed
i have 90 minutes to kick this food poisoning or josh's first experience with buttsex will be his last
yeah dropping that class because i really don't want to be known as the girl who fell asleep in class and threw up as she walked out for an entire semester
If I could sit on this toilet forever I would totally do that right now
So Bodhi just sent me a pic of someone's balls with a message that says "I hope you all have a ballin' night." I don't even know what level of friendship to call this anymore.
Oh my god.
The ballsiest level.
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
You don't understand. My ass is the color of eggplant.
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
Why would you ask him if you could lick his chest?
He has a very lickable chest
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