I'm playing a drinking game with nyc prep. This will not end well for meeee
Everytime the gay dude pretends he's not gay, drink a cosmo. Everytime the crosseyed girl is crosseyed, kill her
So you honestly dont remember putting honey in your bong? You kept talking about how you wanted to become a bee and fly
Not gonna happen. She just told me she puts glitter over the mole on her nose to make it look like a piercing.
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Ps there is nothing more humbling in the world than havin to watch cheaper by the dozen on the waiting room tv while getting the morning after pill at the drs. Nothing
Your roommate from freshman year just had a baby. I think you're winning. Hooray for fifth year seniors!
I began mixing captain Morgan and jack daniels and called it captain jack sparrow. I puked. a lot.
Dont worry bro, i'll be the designated kayaker. I wouldnt want u to be drinking and kayaking.
My goal is to not catch on fire... But if i have to dance im going to dance regardless of the danger
I've been up for almost three hours and it took me until JUST NOW to figure out that what I'm tasting isn't blood, just the minerals in the water. Fuck hangovers, man.
I would go a lot of places to get laid. But I would NOT go to Staten Island.
Every text my dad sends me is an AA mantra. Might be time to take a look at my life.
we had to follow your trail of clothes to find you.......
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
I am not even ashamed to say it, I got laid in the stairwell of the hotel, by a 29 year old. It was awesome!
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