in jail i did the beyonce ass shake for the police officers & called Sally from my collect phone in my cell & started singing "im in JAAAIL IM IN JAAAIL",
I guess what I'm trying to say is you've fucked more people than the economy.
sorry about calling you the devil all night.
Just showed mom and dad the pics from San Francisco, while i played the Full House theme song in the background.
Haha so I huess that means he's a little over 7. I can use my throat as a ruler!!
One less school supply you need to buy!!
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
On the bright side, at least we arent the generation raised by fucked up teen moms.
Thank you for the breast cancer awareness themed circle of death. Had it been any other time I would not have played topless.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
It's 1 AM and there's a guy outside my house belting out Bennie and The Jets. He stops in between verses to puke. I'm joining him.
I hooked up with a 20 year old last night. I feel like a hocus pocus witch that sucked life from a child.
Just trying to get my dicks in a row.
I got a 5 dollar bill, 1 condom, and no alcohol. I get payed on Thursday. Let's do this shit.
tinder day one and i already had more guys message me about "the girl with the big tits in my second picture" than about me. MY 17 YEAR OLD SISTER CAN GET LAID WITHOUT EVEN HAVING TO MAKING A PROFILE
to be fair she does have a great rack
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
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