just got out of a noise viloation because the cop recognized my roomate as his favorite chipotle burrito roller. just another reason I love ritos
Shark Week. Kick off begins Sunday. The drinking game has been upgraded to include jumping/breaching sharks and Jake's not allowed to bring the harpoon. Period.
Tempting. But I already used the alcohol poisoning excuse at work this month. No way he would believe it a second time...
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I feel very compelled to cut off the person's ears that is sitting in front of me
also, sleeping with your chipotle guy sounds like a good idea until you want chipotle on your day off and have to look somewhat presentable to acquire said chipotle.
Just saw a government minister puke and rally.
Do you ever look back on your life and think - man I should have never had sex with that guy
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
If all that ever happens between us is orgasms and dank memes, I think I'd be okay with that.
he just fucked me for my cheese..
it was a 'fall asleep on the bathroom floor after puking bc the cold tile is legit more comfortable than your bed' kind of night.
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