we have to go try and show our tits so we can get ID-free drinks at applebees
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
Found out why I didn't have to go drug test. My boss grew pot to pay for grad school.
Should have told me the night we were talking about deal breakers that vomming outside your car was one of them. I would have taken a cab back
Just got motor boated by a horse in the street
Ive seen him cuddling a giant inflatable seahorse. Nothing could be creepier than that.
She had sex in a public bathroom and slept on a couch in the dorm lobby. It's only Monday
I wore home his HoHoHo boxers. I've never felt such a connection to an article of clothing.
Kinda awkward to hear your aunt complain about loose women when you're in town to be a stunt dick for a swingers convention. Just sayin.
Remember the girl I had sex with in the dorm stairwell? She got married!
Sometimes i wish my vagina automatically turned itself off when i'm legally drunk.
Also this morning I remembered seeing the stripper he threw up on later in the night. She was clothed though.
It should be perfectly legal to tase anyone not wearing a mask.
BRB. These cougars are squabbling over my junk and one of them is offering to pay my tuition
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