That was rough. We had a 50% puke rate and 100% still drunk rate at lunch
i crushed up some extenze and put them in his protein powder - should make for an interesting gym experience
Its funny how you denied every part of the text except " you hate fat ppl"
Oh god I think I promised some guy from high school that I'd be his fuck buddy in like 3 months
Whiskey + Water + Crystal Lite does NOT = refreshing summer time drink.....
wearing my roomate's scarf as a dress...halloween 2011 ladies and gentlemen
She gave me what I will now dub a "hurricane sandy". Loud, wet and sloppy BJ that made me want to stay home and complain about shit on the Internet
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Date idea: we should go to the store and buy all the different kinds of Lay's and eat them all
Why are there jello shots in the kitchen drawer?
Reports of my death were greatly exaggerated.
2014 decided to stick it to me one last time. Right up the ass.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
We're gonna have to check the security cameras after last night
They told him he could only pay in monopoly money and he pulls out a wad of it from his pocket... i think im in love
Randomize
