I want to see a picture of the girl worth ruining our relationship for
The ticket read "Found nude in a tree"
Wow. 8.8 earthquake hit Chile this morning
didn't feel it. :)
It's like 5 thousand miles away of course you didn't.
wait what? so it's not in america?
Last night was proof dads should hug their daughters more
Just fucked in his moms tanning bed. While it was on. Weirdest. Tan. Ever.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
She said if her future children dont have blue eyes she wont love them
Is it bad that I'm a 32 year old woman that is so afraid of commitment that a hamster is too much responsibility?
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
I do feel like I owe you an apology for trying to fuck your dad last night but in my defense everyone knows I shouldn't drink tequila.
I think I died and satan has brought me back to life and I'm paying for my sins with this hangover
It was a glorious ass. He has amazing hands. I want to fuck him until he can't do math anymore.
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
color coded lube a great way to organize my bootie calls
I need to find a divorced guy with a boat and let my tits do the talking
Randomize
