I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
barbara walters just said penis...
dude i feel like shit
well u did eat a lot of play-doh
I made a vision board specifically for the purpose of boning john mayer.
at least he lost his v-card with a bang... or should i say the clap.
you know by doing this we are using dad as a drug mule right?
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
In all honesty of all my sexual conquests, his dick is probably my proudest moment.
He challenged me to a drink off, I couldn't just say no. It was a matter of pride really.
And as he was cursing your name from the bathroom you were ordering yourself another drink on his tab. The poor bastard had no clue you were a pro drunk
And now you understand the importance of Saturday naps.
Because you stay up all night having sex and eating sushi?
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
It's 4 am here and I just vomited myself awake....Not rising OR shining any time soon
I woke up with a thorn in my belly button. A THORN!
I've just realized that today's rations have consisted of turkey bacon and jack Daniels.
just saw a kid waiting at the door of the stairs for the elevator. there is no elevator in this building. get on his level.
Randomize
