bahahahaha i would laugh soo hard if someone did this for me hahahaha this guy would become my best friend
soooo we both peed the bed last night...
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
for future reference: anal bleach BEFORE boozing
Contrary to what peaches says, you can't fuck the pain away. Full story later. Have a good morning, buddy.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
I don't know at least half of his name. I have officially become a statistic.
I took us ten minutes to realize the shower sex going upstairs was the reason the kitchen ceiling was flooding.
As I was brushing his cum out of my hair he looks at me and says "it happens to me all the time."
It sounds like I am drunk, but I am not. I just have a concussion.
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Here's what I don't understand. How does anyone watch you eat mayo for 12 minutes and then ever fuck you again??
So I heard her yell at him and I went downstairs to find he had lit up each one of my smokes and taken just one drag off each and had em lined up on the table. She says he "experiments" when on Ambien.
you ate an entire watermelon by using a CD as a spoon, then proceeded to chuck the leftovers at some dudes car...
Randomize
