I accidentally had phone sex last night
I just left during the middle of Chemistry to go throw up in the bathroom....and you laughed at my travel toothbrush.
To make up for the snow days we missed he's making us write a paper on alcoholism. It's like he knows.
So I am just swinging blind here, but I am guessing that blood in your sinus is not ideal
You left your underwear here. I'm hanging it on my door
Pot head idea of the day: make a maraca out of weed seeds. Or a rain stick? Definitely rain stick.
margarita monday on the first day back? my gpa is telling me noo! but my heart is telling me goo! I am conflicted..
I don't have to hold her hair back as she blows me but I do have to hold the ball on the Santa hat
I'm just gonna start letting dudes eat it. American idol for my vagina
Mom and dad should be so proud half of their children have gotten naked in the same local grocery store
Day two of not drinking, I think my cat is trying to eat me.
Psychosis secondary to sobriety???
Oh and he asked if I would occasionally still blow him if we had children. It was so romantic.
I love when Facebook suggests people I may know. Well, yeah, I know him. He's my drug dealer. Pretty sure I want to keep that relationship strictly professional.
Hey, what's the French word for when you meet your boyfriend's friend and you have that gut feeling that you smoked pot naked in a hot tub with him at a house party years ago?
It is like...the most transformative hard on I have ever had.
Randomize