Is this going to be a big send off or a somber occasion? Just need to know if I should start drinking on the train or not.
ohhhh fuckk. chicks a dude.
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Gotta love hanging with Nat. By the time guys realize she isnt going home with them, they've spent enough money and time to think I'm a good idea.
he came in the shower with me...i thought it was going to be nice and romantic...until he started peeing on my leg.
It is officially Christmas time in Chicago. There's a drunk hobo on the CTA singing the first 2 lines of Frosty the Snowman over and over and over.
I now have a full length bright red cape in my possession. Best sex trophy ever.
The last thing I remember was naked hot tub and taking a shot and using the hot tub water as a chaser. Not acceptable.
Opted for cash back rather than the 10% extra I'd get for store credit, solely for drinks tonight.
You're lovely.
He bought the 12 pack of condoms. I take that as a sign of serious commitment.
But I don't wanna live with them bc I need to be able to walk around naked and sex on any surface guilt free.
He texted me "sup", so I sent him that gif of the surprised guy and apparently it offended him
I went in the hotel's jacuzzi fully clothed, threw up in the bathroom half an hour later and woke up naked next to Dr. Seuss' "Oh the Places You'll Go"
I'd send you a picture as proof but I want to marry him some day and that would be a deal breaker.
Randomize
