We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
we were doing it doggy-style and i felt him pop that pimple on my back.I have mixed feelings about it
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
well, i woke up this morning to a note i left myself my dry erase board, "dear you: i had sex with someone awful."
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
Remember camping when you drank 36 beers to yourself in one day and puked in your tent? Ready for round 2?
People were drinking out of 26ers with straws, and somewhere someone yelled "fill me with dicks!" I'm home.
Look bro I'll go half per boob with you, we split her.
i think you lost all your innocence when you were caught straddling a fence in your thong & cowboy boots by the 40 year old apartment manager
The saddest thing about graduating is that we won't have free access to STI screening anymore
Currently playing charity bingo with coworkers so if u were ever gonna send a dick pic now is the time
I'm eating Swedish fish out of my boobs and watching SOA.. There is no way your Tuesday night will be better than mine.
Nate is still in lock up because when the cop informed me he'd shit his pants in the squad car I declined to post bail.
I think I fell in love last night
That guy had a face tattoo and was named Cheddar. Please tell me you’re kidding.
Randomize
