I just cut my nipple shaving
well this feels familiar. awake at the crack of dawn laying in the fetal position praying for the sweet release of death. i think im done with jager for a while
then she stuck her tongue in my ass
I thought we were talking about reason you aren't going to marry her?
I just got a mental picture of us having sex in a trash can.
he can show you his cooooock\nshining, shimmering, splendiddddd
Finding out he was uncircumcised by feeling his foreskin in my mouth was NOT ideal. New rule. Lights ALWAYS on.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
Well after the shots I danced with a homeless guy, split my toe on broken glass, and had a 20 piece mcnugget. Who says postgrad life is boring.
You slid down a wall, tried to pull your cast off and yelled that casts were too conformist.
Best part about a crippling state-wide drought? Actually having a valid excuse for not showering
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Also you can't just sext a Michelle quote from Full House.
well i blew him then my wife blew him, so im guessing we'll be seeing him around, yeah
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