Just gargled Fireball to get the fish taco taste out of my mouth. Almost as good as gum.
i puked out the bus window last night on the way home. i remember it, but i don't remember everyone else screaming to put their windows up.
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
I'm going to replace you with a friend who will be happy when I find a huge penis
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I feel choking has become trendy-- ita losing its effect. I may just have to go back to missionary to spice it up
pretty sure 5 days for a bachelor party in Vegas is too long when even the stripper giving me a lapdance says "wow that's a long time!"
She has this wild look other eyes like she wouldn't be afraid to commit a felony.
He had really great hair, but he told me he's been in a psych ward three times. I mean I know I'm a psych major, but that's too much.
He's going to find out eventually, but really what's he going to do? Cry about it and buy another fucking kitten??
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
He fell asleep cradling my ass and every time I moved he adjusted his hand accordingly. I've found the one.
You drunk? Cause I have a terrible idea...
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
I mean his penis was perfect in pictures but its even more perfect inside me
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