I just googled maps his house, and took the virtual tour back to my apartment, just so I could visualize the walk of shame in the morning
I sent out a mass text that said "margaritas for Jesus?" and nobody responded, worst Easter ever.
i am one more weekend without sex away from dosing him with viagra and locking ourselves into a closet.
Breakfast=the leftover margarita in my car. Have a great day.
He just broke up w his most recent gf again, wish I could message her and be like it's not you he's gay.
Woke up with my face in a bowl of cereal. This is tequila's way of saying fuck you.
if you need to find her look her up on www.imastupidslut.org
.org?
yeah. they're non profit. helps them sleep at night.
You kept me hostage in your driveway until you got your point across that alaska has warm weather
First week back and I made to one class, its gonna be okay after all.
Please tell me you werent the one who replaced every beer bottle in my fridge with a picture of a baby kitten.
... and if i was..
Fuck. You.
not a day goes by that I don't wish you were here or I there. Today it was because I had the desire to get high and go look at the jellyfish at the aquarium and you're the perfect buddy for that.
Just because he told you it was safe doesn't mean you should have licked it.
i don't know how to react to you in a diaper crying and calling a football 'sadie'.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
I got blackout last night and applied to be a banker
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